Dad Robert Hawkins shares how RMHC Toronto gave his family comfort, care, and community over Christmas

My wife Zoe and I will be forever grateful for RMHC Toronto, the staff, the volunteers, and the donors for all they did to support us while our son Robert was a patient in the NICU at The Hospital for Sick Children (SickKids) in December 2023.

We were like most first-time parents. We had planned for the “perfect” labour and delivery – and we got it. Twenty-six hours after the birth of our son we took him home. But then, twenty-two hours later, we were bringing him back to our local hospital, as something didn’t feel right. Boy, were we right. By the time the sun came up that morning, Zoe and our son were in an ACTS ambulance (Acute Care Transport Service) on an emergency run to SickKids. This was the beginning of a 23-day stay for Robert at the hospital. 

The first day was a blur for us, and we ended up spending the night in a lactation consultation room just outside the NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit). The lights didn’t fully turn off and, now and then, the door to the room beside us would slam shut. Sleep was impossible.

Behind the scenes, the SickKids team was connecting with RMHC Toronto to get the ball rolling on arranging accommodations for us at the House. They knew what we were not ready to accept the fact that this would be an extended stay for Robert, and that we would not be able to keep up the current tempo for much longer and still be effective in caring and advocating for our son.

The next day when we got word that we had been accepted and that there was a place for us that night, some of the pressure was lifted off our shoulders. We had gotten to the point of asking ourselves, “How are we going to make this work so we can be here as much as possible for our baby boy?” We knew that, financially, we would not be able to sustain staying in a hotel in the area for more than a couple of nights.

That night, after we had checked in to Ronald McDonald House Toronto, had a tour, and made it to our room, we were finally able to have a much-needed moment to process all of the emotions we were going through and got some much-needed rest. 

Well, as the days went on, we got into a routine of being up first thing in the morning, having a quick breakfast, packing a lunch, heading to the hospital, and spending the day at Robert’s crib side in the NICU. Then around 8:30 pm, we would make the 10-minute walk back to the House to make dinner, do laundry, call the NICU to check on our son and then get some sleep. 

I will say that 10-minute walk “home” at the end of the day was not an easy one. As a parent you go through so many emotions and thoughts. You are thankful your child is getting the help they need and you can be so close, while at the same time having the feeling you’re abandoning your child and leaving them with strangers when they should be in your arms. I know without a doubt we would not have gotten through our time at the hospital if we were stuck in traffic driving back and forth from our home in East Gwillimbury, Ont., every day.

We came to appreciate the boxed family meals that were in the community fridge and the basic staples that were always available. RMHC Toronto made things so much easier for us on those days we weren’t in a space to cook – and when we did cook it was never as elaborate or nutritious.

As Christmas approached, we hoped Robert would be transferred back to our local hospital. But as the days grew closer and we realized that was not to be, we appreciated being able to have Amazon deliveries accepted on our behalf so that we could easily get a few items to celebrate a “normal” Baby’s First Christmas despite our son being in hospital.

Having a child in the hospital over Christmas is not something any parent wants to experience but RMHC Toronto made it a little less painful. As first-time parents, we didn’t partake in any of the pre-Christmas festivities as we dedicated our time to be with Robert. Still, waking up Christmas morning, we planned to visit the Christmas breakfast early and get over to the hospital before the families in the house started celebrating the day. Despite not registering our son at Santa’s Workshop, we still opened our door Christmas morning and found a bag of gifts for Robert at our door. Both the gifts and the gift cards in our mailbox meant so much to us.

We ended up sharing the infectious Christmas spirit by passing some of the things we couldn’t use on to other families we had gotten to know. We are still in amazement at the generosity we were shown and tell others regularly about our experience at RMHC Toronto, especially over the holidays.

On Christmas night, we gathered with a fellow NICU family in the Ronald McDonald Family Room at SickKids Hospital and shared a meal we had brought in. In all honesty, it felt as if we were at home at our kitchen celebrating the season, which made such a tough time a little easier. We saved the Christmas dinner that was served at the House for our lunches over the next few days. We finally transferred back to our local hospital and checked out of Ronald McDonald House Toronto on December 29.

There are so many little things that make RMHC Toronto special, not only to us but to all the families we spoke with that stayed there. As I have told so many people since our stay, you will never understand what RMHC Toronto really is or means until you have to stay there. The fact is that the TV ads and other marketing material do not do it justice as they don’t show – and I don’t think ever could show – how amazing of a place it is.

We show our appreciation by going back to the House to host Family Dance Parties now for other families going through the same experience we did. Our family is thankful to all the donors who made this incredible place available to us when we needed it.

Sincerely,

The Hawkins Family